All over the place

It is getting closer to March. I been talking with Randy on my thinking, rethinking and so on about were we are suppose to go.  He is so much better at believing in were we are going and believing that we can do it.  Awhile back we have set some goals for our self's on getting a few things done.  I look back on those and we cant cross any of them off.  So there are a few things that we are doing different is we redid our GOAL list.  And we are going to keep it were we can SEE it.  Not tucked away in a notebook.  And we are going from there.  I have been having a hard time on were we are to go and do.  I thought we were lead another way and it turn out we were not.  So we are going to try and stay on our plan A not plan B's.  So March 1st we are going to fill out the application for Holt to adopt hoping from China.  I'm excited but so scared.  Scared because of many reasons.  1.  Is it going to be a NO!  I have been reading some other blogs that I follow and on one of them she hit it right on the head on how I was feeling.  Thank you Kelly.
I also signed up to receive the emails on No More Perfect Mom 31 day challenge.  Day 19 Thank you.

No- because we do not reach the income level
No- over weight- working on getting some weight off I want to be able to walk the great wall, and be healthier for my family and myself.
No-Because of past- I have had a hard life (I grew up in FC) and have had to receive some counseling.
And many more that i cant think of at the moment

Also what others think:
We have four children already why would we want more?  Don't you think you have enough children to worry about?
Why China?